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NEW Feature: 'Left Jab - Right Hook'
How Women Can Help America!
Legalize Polygamy - Put that 2nd Wife to Work!By DICK KULPA Dick Kulpa is a political cartoonist and former Editor of Weekly World News. He is publisher of IUDEXonline.com As American households cave in to the economic meltdown, some believe it's time to expand on the individual family's income streams — by legalizing polygamy! For the uninformed, this means "allowing a man to have more than one wife at the same time." Terming polygamy "a social reform long overdue," economic scholars point to the 70's when two-income households became tantamount to making ends meet. "You don't think the women's rights movement came out of nowhere, do you?" reveals one. "Secret economic powers had to get women's wages up there so wives could help keep families afloat during the 70's double-digit inflation spree." Easy credit and burgeoning credit card availability kept folks happy in the 80s and 90s," he said, "but all that has since maxed out. Studies say it now requires a triple-income household to get by." After "offshoring" sent factories overseas, wages aren't expected to rise anytime soon — if ever. Extra income from a family's children has been ruled out as a solution. "We need our young people to leave that nest, go out and multiply, spend money and create soldiers," said the expert, who declined to be identified for this report. "Active polygamy creates a larger family unit in good legal standing, and most importantly — more income that will help the economy," he said. When queried as to moral considerations over such a taboo measure, he responded with "look, 'God' is obsolete... He's been kicked out of the country anyway, because there just ain't enough room for both unbridled capitalism and that 'be kind to the least of your brother' BS." "Besides, who needs one all-powerful being when you got thousands of all-powerful nukes?" he added. "Polygamy's been around for centuries," added another source. "It's high time America caught up with the ways of the world." Comments? Email us
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Get Back Into the Kitchen - Save Jobs for Men!By UNCLE CHUCKIE 'Uncle Chuckie' is a die-hard conservative who drinks his tea out of a rifle stock. Here's his insight: For the past 60 years or so it is the Woman who has taken nearly 50% of all of the jobs in the States! It is the more than 60% of all drivers on the roads that are women...causing more and more gridlock, slow-downs, tie-ups and traffic incidents because of the enormous amounts of additional drivers on roads and highways originally engineered for perhaps 100s of 1000s LESS per year. Plus, women were admired for their ability to TEACH our Children how to socialize with others, perform hygiene, maintain respect for others AND self-respect!!! Comments? Email us, and we'll post 'em right here! |
Here's a GREAT Way 
to Stimulate the Economy: Make Wall Street Pay Us Back
Those Wall Street hooligans who cost millions of middle class homeowners half their nest egg owe those homeowners, and more than just an "oops." WE think a massive one time payout by all giant firms involved to all those millions of robbed people just might re-stimulate the economy. How 'bout it?
CLARIFICATION: 'Taxing the Rich' Just to Do It is NOT the Point
Picture a ship on fire.
All hands on deck — passengers and crew — are frantically pouring little buckets of water on the blaze. Meanwhile, the man with the biggest hose sits snoozing in the luxury lounge, exempt from the ship-saving effort.
What's wrong with this picture?
America is in lots of financial trouble, and we can ill-afford excusing any class — particularly those with the greatest means — from a nationwide "must-do" effort to save this union. Yes, they provide jobs, however, we provided the customer base all along.
With the middle class already gutted by the sub-prime crisis, there is little choice. It's time we stopped pretending there is. THAT'S sending the wrong message.
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STATEMENT: There is no "political agenda" at iudexonline. We are neither pro nor anti-Obama, Bush, Democrat or Republican. We stand for logic and sanity, two commodities in seemingly short supply these days.
Editor's Note: Indian, Philippino and Chinese scribes are not utilized nor outsourced to by IUDEXonline, which is 100% American-produced. Typoes and various other grammatically-incorrect sentences occasionally posted on IUDEXonline are generally intentional, so as to reflect current trends prevalent among major news organization websites accessed via cellphone.
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