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SURVEY: 'Miracles' Declining in America!
RIO DE JANEIRO, Brazil — Theologists conducting a survey have announced that "Miracles" are on the rise in South America, but are plummeting in the U.S.
"Brazil especially is showing a marked increase in what we term "Divine Intervention events", said a spokesman for the Ecuadoran survey group. "What we find interesting is the roughly 6 percent decline in per-capita miracle occurences in the U.S.," he added.
"Miracles" take many shapes and forms, from finding a lost wallet — intact — to winning the lottery, or unexpectedly recovering from a near fatal accident. For the purposes of this survey, all count equally," he said.
"God works in strange ways, and under His own terms," said the spokesman, who then offered a glimmer of hope. "God is alive and well in South America, and we're not seeing attempts to exclude Him from the public conscience, as you continually see in the U.S..
"We're not here to judge, nor to suggest any potential 'turn-around' solution," he added. "But it may well be a good idea to spend a bit more time on your own knees than between someone else's."
Do you have any miracles to report? Email IUDEXONLNE today!
IUDEX Survey picks Simon Cowell as President
In a shocking IUDEX poll, 22% of all surveyed Americans expressed concern over President Obama's birth status. 15% believed Bush was still President, and 5% believed Jimmy Carter still held our highest office! However, a whopping 57.3% said they would favor suspending the rules next election to allow American Idol's caustic judge Simon Cowell to serve as our Commander-in-Chief!
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WEST PALM BEACH — An astounding image photographed over Florida may herald the coming of the End Times, says a Bible expert.
When Michele Kaye aimed her cellphone at the compelling cloud formation in the skies, she had no inkling as to the image her camera would capture — and some say it may be that of God Himself!
"When I looked at it (the photo) two weeks later, I suddenly realized there was a figure in those clouds," Michele said. Experts have confirmed the photo to be genuine, and unretouched.
Oddly enough, not everyone sees the "deity." However, one Bible expert who declined to be identified — and who did see the figure — told IUDEX "God may be revealing Himself to certain chosen subjects for a good reason."
The expert declined to speculate on that "reason," however others say those who see God in the photo can probably expect a backstage pass into Heaven once the End Times come. Taking it one step further, this apparently means the End Times would occur "within our lifetime."
IUDEX is in no position to judge the merits of this story, but in our concerted opinion, it's just a "pretty cloud formation."
More Headlines:
U.S. Has Time Machine?
Micheal Jackson Meets Elvis In Heaven!
Americans Turning to Witch Doctors!
Beer Can Found On Moon! |
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Is This the Face of God?
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UPPER RIGHT HAND area of the cloud formation appears to show a bearded figure. The black area at right is the edge of an apartment buiding. |
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We'll Help You See the Image! |
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If you still can't see the "face," we've circled the "head" of the apparition — and added an enhanced version of the figure at left (inset.)
Eyes, a nose and beard seem plainly visible.
The expert who performed the enhancement told IUDEX, "I didn't do much to bring it out. Those features were already there." |
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Artist Abducted By Space Aliens — to Draw Their Portraits!
A caricature artist claims he was once abducted by "little grey beings" and forced to draw their faces!
"These little guys were fascinated — it's like they'd never seen artwork before," says the artist, who declined to divulge either his location or identity.
The "out-of-this-world" gig proved to be easy, he says, since "they basically all looked alike to me." He added that he received no tip for his impromtu services.
Stories published for entertainment purposes only • ©2009 IUDEXONLINE |
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