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Attempt to Clone Michael Jackson?

Michael Jackson Clones

An expert warns that attempts may be made to clone a "new" Michael Jackson — and that we'd better be prepared.

"This man (Michael) was way too talented and way too popular to be consigned to posterity," said an unidentified scientist. "A year from now, I wouldn't be a bit surprised to read that somebody cloned him."

But would it be a good idea? "Surprisingly, yes," said the expert. "Just imagine a new Michael Jackson, minus the weight of his past tragic life — no faults, just superb dancing and music.

"They'd better keep every strand of Michael's DNA under guard," he warned. "This is too big for some enterprising 'Dr. Frankenstein wannabe' to pass up!"

'Elvis Greeted Michael In Heaven'
. . . Says Psychic

Elvis Presley meets Michael JacksonLANTANA, FL — A wide-eyed and incredulous Michael Jackson no sooner climbed the stairway to Heaven when he was met at the "Pearly Gates" by a smiling Elvis Presley, says a top Internet psychic known to millions of webheads as "Chele."

"It was Thursday, around 5:30 PM, when I started seeing these images in my head," the young psychic tells IUDEXonline.

"I saw Michael Jackson . . . his face close up. He looked pale, nervous. Lots of clouds around. He was wearing one of his band-type costumes, walking up a stairway. Ghostly . . . plain WEIRD, she said. At first, I thought it was some MTV video flashing before me.

"Next, Michael's at a shiny, golden gate, which opens as fast as I see it. Then there's this smiling, really handsome-looking guy in a pure white, star-studded jumpsuit standing just inside, with his arms outstretched. At first I thought, 'is this God? I don't see any white beard' and then it dawned on me — that's Elvis Presley!

"So then these two "Kings" go eye-to-eye with each other, shaking hands and embracing, like long lost friends who've suddenly come back together. It seemed like a really happy occasion," she said. "That's when the music began.

"Michael Jackson started dancing when Elvis sang "Blue Suede Shoes." Then Michael cuts loose with his "Beat it" song. It was really neat seeing these two carrying on, 'moonwalking,' moving their hips and all," she said.

"Michael started singing 'Thriller," and all Hell broke loose," she added, correcting herself to say 'Heaven.'
"People started emerging from the clouds, dancing, just like in the "Thriller" video! I thought I recognized Tiny Tim in the crowd — and Frank Sinatra," she added. "I could even hear Vincent Price doing his disembodied narration.

"Michael was, like, really excited, screaming "Hi Kurt, Hi John, Hi James, Hi Buddy, Hi Jim," Chele said. "One long-haired guy came up to Michael, and I couldn't tell if it was John Lennon or Jesus Himself!

"But when Michael said "Hi Farrah,' I got this really weird feeling, and the 'video' stopped. I turned on the TV and saw that Michael Jackson had just passed away — for real!"

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Dick Kulpa imageIUDEXonline website designed, written and illustrated by Dick Kulpa, acknowledged designer of Bat Boy during his 15-year stint at Weekly World News, Dick is no longer associated with that operation. Prior to his WWN tenure, Kulpa also raised lots of cain as a political cartoonist, so anything can happen with this satire practitioner. Stay tuned to IUDEXonline!
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