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New Population Explosion — of Ghosts!
The ghost population is increasing in epidemic proportions, and that's because baby boomers are dying off as fast as they were born," said an expert.
"We're not only seeing lots more haunted houses, but haunted cars, boats — and even highways," he said. "We've even heard several reports of haunted GPS units."

First Ever Appendix Transplant!
Doctors at an undisclosed hospital in the eastern U.S. hailed the first-ever appendix transplant operation as a "complete success," and are preparing for a "tidal wave" of appendix transplant surgeries.
Recent medical reports which found appendixes to be "useful organs after all" paved the way for this landmark surgery.
"It's one of the greatest 'cash cow bonanzas' of all time," gushed one doctor. "We took 'em all out for a grand each back in the 1980s, and now we're putting em back in for $100g's!"
Corporations are now said to be developing "bionic" tonsils and adenoids in preparation for a soon-to-be released report hailing their "newly discovered" value.


American Civil War 'Never Happened,' Says Historian!
A history researcher says he's found "damning" evidence the so-called "Civil War" was actually a massively-staged promotional publicity stunt of a 19th century ad agency looking to develop future tourism markets across the country, especially in the "industry-challenged" deep South. According to the anonymous source, Lincoln, (Jefferson) Davis, (Robert E.) Lee and (Ulysses S.) Grant were all in on it.
Lacking any living eyewitneesses, there's no way to actually confirm or deny the story. However, the source revealed "'Honest Abe' was shot to keep his mouth shut."
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Muck Monster Photographed!
Singer Island, FL — Experts warn the sea monster recently photographed at a south Florida marina (and shown here) is actually a "baby" — and it's expected to grow to as much as 60 feet in length!

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What's even more troubling is this," says an expert, "There may be a whole family of freshly-hatched 'muck monsters.'" One local man recently admitted to "feeding his entire family for a week from a "giant egg" he found in the bushes. "That was no turtle egg," he said. "But there were some hatched eggs too."

Analysts who've studied these photos all agree that the creature is prehistoric in origin — and is undoubtedly carnivorous. "This thing seems to be a dinosaur which has evolved into an ocean-dweller," said one scientist. "The muck monster may be content eating fish and french fries for now, but at some point in the near future, pets — and people — will be next."

So far there has been no substantiated connection between the pictured creature and an Internet-popular video of a long, extended wake recently taken by a boater. Viewers have theorized that event to be caused by anything from a large sea turtle, manatee, submerged porpoise — and even an overweight mermaid.

IudexOnline urges everyone to be vigilant along the intracoastal, and to report any unusual sightings. Experts further warn that, if you do see this "muck monster," do NOT feed it! You may find yourself "mucked".
By the time this photo was taken the muck monster was viewed as "more like a hungry, playful puppy than a sea monster. Experts warn folks to "be afraid, be very afraid" of this creature.
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