Space Alien Baby Poop Discovered
BREAKING NEWSA recently-found space alien poop sample is missing, say authorities, who've launched an "all out" nationwide search. Recent tests showed one ounce of the extraterrestrial feces could fuel a standard auto for an entire month — which may explain the maximum alert. IUDEXonline is following this story and will have more soon!
BOYNTON BEACH, FL — A "Space Alien Baby" left startling evidence of her appearance here, say scientists — that's because they've found a sample of space alien poop at the scene!
A "space alien baby" reportedly swooped down from the sky last week and grabbed a miniature Doberman Pinscher when it darted out in front of a moving vehicle.
"She saved that dog's life, for sure," said the driver, a woman who declined to be named for this story. "The baby gently dropped the little mini-pin onto the grass and zoomed off."
The owner of the lucky "mini-pin" would neither speak with us, nor corroborate the driver's story, since her dog, by covenant, should not have been running loose.
 Space Alien Baby Vanishes!Only known photo of space alien baby "Alienna". We recently reported the birth of an extraterrestrial baby — the first ever on U.S. soil. Now stunned sources reveal the baby — and her space alien family — have flown the coop! The 12-lb, 2-oz. cat-eyed, green-tinged space alien baby was delivered at a secret military hospital on the East Coast, sources say, after an alien space ship requested emergency assistance. Baby "Alienna" became the first space alien infant born on American soil. Sources now admit that the U.S. secretly hosted an entire family of extraterrestrials, including the baby's brother and her parents. "The morning nurse went to check on them, and they were gone," said the source. Scientists say these beings were "not normal, as we here on Earth view normality," according to one expert. "These...things...had powers and abilities — and their babies grow much faster than human infants do," he warned. "Alienna" is the name WE gave her, it's impossible to know what her real name is," he added. "We couldn't understand a word that 'family' said — it almost sounded like they were whistling instead of talking." |
A check with locals in the area revealed no other sighting of any such being, described as approximately 2 feet tall, with green-tinged skin, bulging green cat-eyes and seemingly, only months old. No clothing was indicated, and the infant appeared to be female.
Officials are attempting to determine if the space baby poop came from missing alien "Baby Alienna," shown right inset story.
Our own inspection of the area revealed no sign of any "flying green baby," though we did uncover several small globs of "alien baby poop." Samples were collected into small plastic bags as the complex maintenance man appeared.
"Folks are required to keep their pets leashed -- and carry pooper scoopers during their pet walks," he said. When advised this was possibly "space alien poop," he snapped "That goes for aliens too!"
Samples sent to a lab for analysis have come back positive. "This is most assuredly space alien poop," said an expert. "Now that we know what it looks like, we can track this baby!"
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